Tuesday, July 7, 2015
The last two Madly in Loves have centered around The Love Dare book; we might as well go for the hat trick right?
Engineer and I have a solidly perfectly imperfect relationship. (As my sweet friend says, "My husband's not perfect, but he's perfect for me.") If you are a long time reader, you know that for the past five years or so, I have given you a peek into our relationship and know that I am head over heels in love with Engineer.
That's not to say that we aren't always learning from or about each other. Nor is that to say that we aren't trying to improve our relationship. We absolutely are, but sometimes we just need a little direction - a slight nudge, or in my case, a whopping great shove, out of complacency.
I began The Love Dare the day after I got it. Even though Engineer was there when I bought the book, he has not read it and therefore does not know what it is that I have been challenged to do each day.
Day 1's dare was to speak nothing negative to Engineer.
In my head, this was going to be a piece of cake. I mean I lurve my hunky husband who still gives me butterflies. I don't nay say all the time, or at least, I didn't think I did.
I found that I chose my words very carefully all day long. It was a relatively simple task and I could see the benefit of being positive and slow to answer, so I continued to be deliberate in my word choices in the days that followed.
After about Day 3, Engineer called me over to his desk where he was working, sat me on his lap, gazed into my eyes and asked, "What's going on with you?" I smiled at him and asked what he meant by that. He said, "You seem different...Happy..."
It was like a bullet through my heart. I mean, I thought I was happy. I thought he knew I was happy.
Three days of no negativity had been such a drastic change in the way I spoke to him that Engineer reckoned it was the difference between me being happy and unhappy with life in general.
My family often still gets the worst of me, my leftovers, if you will. Without even thinking, I had been speaking in a way that was not uplifting to the most important man in my life. By consciously making an effort in the way I communicated thoughts, I peeled away layers that had been built up and my husband looked at me like he did over a decade and a half ago at his young bride. His happy young bride.
It just goes to show that words have power. Power over both the speaker and the listener.
Fortunately for me, I have the ability to choose, harness, and direct that power for goodness and edification.
1-4-3 EM! You make me want to be better and happier always.