Perfectly Practical #211 - Helping Your Child Adjust to Moving Part 1

We have had an extremely eventful year...and it's only halfway over!

Most of this year's major happenings all stem from us deciding to move to another state.

Engineer and I discussed moving and decided to move before we told Diva.  We didn't want to burden her with all of our back and forth conversations.

The decision to relocate came down to this question:  what's the best thing for our family?

Once the decision was made, then, we mentioned it to Diva.
By not telling her while we were in discussion, it gave us a chance to settle into the idea first so we could "sell" it to her.  We needed to be united in order to get her on board.

Here are some of the ways we tried to make the process a little smoother for Diva and hope they may help you with your kids if you are in this situation:

  • Tell your children when everyone is in a place of calm - This is why we didn't talk to Diva about the move before the decision was made.  Moving is stressful business and anything you can do to calm some of the stress is encouraged.  Make sure everyone is happy and willing to listen.  The mood they are in when they are told will definitely affect how they react.
  • Talk about the move - Once the cat is out of the bag, be available to talk to your child about their fears, worries, or expectations.
  • Tell their close friends' parents - Diva is a child always concerned with others.  We told her friends' parents so that they could help her friends cope - one less worry for her.
  • Tell their teachers - We told Diva's teachers to be aware that she may be out of sorts or extra clingy or generally different because she found out she was moving.  It was precautionary grace. 
  • Give them as much notice as you can - That way they can get used to the idea in their own time.  I realize this is not always possible.  Time, does in fact, heal wounds.
  • Encourage them - Let your child know that it is okay to feel sad about leaving and it is okay to feel excited about moving somewhere new.  Either way, they won't be abandoning or betraying their friends.
This is part of WFMW.